Many people want to try anal sex, but some aren’t sure it will be enjoyable. Others are worried about pain.
It doesn’t have to hurt, and you can work up to it gradually. It’s important to use lubricant, and it helps to start slow and check in often. You can also make it more comfortable by trying different positions.
Use the Right Lubricant
Anal sex can be intense and pleasurable, but it can also hurt. Using the right anal lubricant is essential for pain free anal play. Experiment with different types of lube to see what feels best. Often, a thicker water-based formula is best for first timers. Jelly or gel lubes may last longer and provide extra “cushion”. Oil-based anal lubricants should be avoided if you use latex condoms as they can cause them to break down.
Before anal play, it’s a good idea to do some foreplay to get your partner warmed up and to practice stroking and massaging the anus. This will both help the anus feel relaxed and prepared for insertion and will allow you to communicate with your partner about what feels good or not.
It’s a good idea to start slow and gradually increase your anal activity over time. If you don’t feel pleasure or a sense of exploration, it’s usually because the insertion is too aggressive. It’s important to talk to your partner about how much pressure they feel comfortable with and to find a way to work together to increase sensation or change the angle of insertion.
Remember that anal sex isn’t the same as what you see on porn and it can take some practice to get used to. It’s not always easy or quick and some people never achieve an orgasm from anal sex, but it’s definitely possible to get a lot of satisfaction out of it and many partners enjoy body-shaking anal orgasms.
Start Slowly
The anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication, so you’ll want to start with plenty of water-based lube. It’s also a good idea to have a condom nearby.
Both partners should be relaxed and excited about exploring anal play. You should also be able to communicate clearly. If you are doing this with someone for the first time, be sure to talk about what kind of anal sex you both enjoy and agree on how to protect against STIs. This can include using PrEP, condoms, dental dams, or testing.
During foreplay, both partners should gently caress the anal area and concentrate on pleasure. This will warm up the anal muscles and make it easier to insert the penis during penetration. It is possible that the initial insertion will hurt, but it should be very little.
If you find that the pain is much greater than it should be, stop. Don’t try to push through it. Instead, try a different angle or a smaller object. You can always try again another day, and don’t be afraid to ask for help from a medical professional if you feel uncomfortable. Remember, anal sex isn’t supposed to be painful. If it is, it’s probably a sign that your body and mind aren’t ready. You need to work on your foreplay and learn what your body needs to be able to experience anal orgasms.
Communicate With Your Partner
If you’re exploring anal with a partner, be sure to communicate your needs and desires. For example, you can discuss what anal positions feel good and which ones don’t, what lubricant is best for the anus, how far you want the penis to go in and so on. During anal, you should also use a safe word if you don’t like what you’re feeling or if the experience is painful.
Having anal sex with someone who’s new to it isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s important to be clear about what you want and expect. It’s also a good idea to start slow and give each other feedback as the anal play progresses to make sure you’re both happy.
It’s also a good idea to do some foreplay before trying anal and take a shower or bath beforehand to help relax the muscles in your ass and your mind. Lastly, don’t forget to wear a condom to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections, including gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, HIV and more. This is especially important if you and your partner are new to anal. Getting a STI from anal can lead to serious problems not just during sex, but for weeks, even months afterward. It’s a lot better to be safe than sorry. Using the right lubricant, starting slow and communicating with your partner can help you avoid pain when doing anal.
Don’t Numb Your Anus
Anal sex can be intense, pleasurable and intimate, but only if you’re both in it for the right reasons. It can also hurt if you’re going too fast or using too much pressure. This is why it’s important to try anal sex on your own first and learn what type of sensations you enjoy (i.e., the feeling of the anal beads “popping” inside or how a butt plug feels). You can also learn what types of positions you like during anal and use a little bit of water-based lubricant to increase your pleasure during sex.
While numbing creams might seem like a good way to prevent pain, it’s actually not a good idea. Numbing the anus can cause trauma and make it more difficult to have an anal that is deep enough. Plus, pain is your body’s way of telling you something is wrong, and without feeling that sensation you might end up doing more damage than good.
The most important tip for doing anal without it hurting is to start slow and communicate with your partner. If you have any questions about what lubricant to use, what sex position to try or what anal stroke feels best, don’t hesitate to ask your partner. They will be happy to help you feel good and have a safe anal sex experience.
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