If your girlfriend is hesitant to give anal a try, respect that. Anal sex isn’t for everyone, and it’s okay to prefer oral or digital stimulation.
Research suggests that gender stereotypes and sexual scripts may play a role in anal penetration. Regardless of gender, it’s always best to use anal-safe lube. Water-based lube is ideal because silicone can degrade latex condoms and sex toys.
1. It’s a waste of time
While the anus is an erogenous zone, the primary function of this area is to push fecal matter out of the body. So, even though bottoming is a pleasure, it’s also messy and may leave brown remnants behind. “Any anal play is going to potentially involve some fecal material,” Heather Edwards, MPT, an AASECT-certified sex educator and pelvic floor physical therapist tells SELF. “That’s just part of it.”
Women who engage in anal sex do so for a variety of reasons, according to one study: a desire for intimacy; a need to please their partner (especially in quid pro quo situations); a feeling that vaginal sex is not a normal behavior; and because they are drunk. Alcohol enhances anal sensitivity and increases the likelihood of engaging in this behavior.
To make anal play pleasurable and comfortable for both partners, lubricant is essential. The anus is a dry area that lacks the natural ability to produce its own lubrication, which makes it difficult for couples to slide their finger, penis or sex toy on and around the anal area without using a product. And using a condom can prevent anal sex from getting stuck under the skin, which could cause irritation and lead to infection.
2. It’s dangerous
The anus is a delicate area and it is easy to get sexually transmitted infections from anal penetration. This is especially true when women are drunk because they are more likely to engage in unprotected sexual behavior.
Another problem with anal sex is that it can cause pain, tearing and even bleeding in some cases. This can be caused by not using enough lubrication or by tight anal muscles. In addition, anal sex can cause herpes and other infections to spread from one person to another.
It is also possible to get bacterial vaginitis from anal sex. This condition can lead to a painful vaginal discharge and a fishy smell. It can also put a woman at risk for preterm labor and low birth weight babies.
Lastly, anal sex can also be dangerous for pregnant women. It can cause a woman to experience pain, bleeding and even a miscarriage. It can also irritate her anal fissures, which are small tears in the anus that are often a result of constipation during pregnancy.
If a woman is pregnant and engages in anal sex, she should make sure to use plenty of lubrication and take things slowly. She should also be sure to wash her hands frequently. This will help reduce the likelihood of her getting a urinary tract infection.
3. It’s not a good idea
While anal sex may be a hot trend right now, it’s not without risks for women. The first, and most obvious, is that anal play can lead to fecal incontinence. This is when a woman experiences explosive diarrhea, which can be very messy. The condition is usually caused by a bacterial infection, which can be spread when anal sex isn’t done properly. It’s important for partners to communicate about their boundaries and to use lubricant during anal play, as the anus does not produce its own lubrication. Using a water-based lubricant helps reduce friction and prevent bacteria from entering the bloodstream.
Another thing to keep in mind when considering anal sex is that it can be very painful, especially if the anus is already sore or irritated from previous sexual contact. If the anus is inflamed, this can cause pain, numbness, and tingling during anal sex.
But if anal sex is done correctly (with lots of foreplay, plenty of lubrication, and slow, controlled movement) and it is not a quid pro quo situation, then pain should not be a factor. Ideally, anal sex should be pleasurable for both partners. If it’s not, it’s a sign that the technique needs to be refined or the partners need to explore other areas of intimacy.
4. It’s embarrassing
Many women feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about engaging in anal play with a new partner, especially if they’re not familiar with it. This is a result of gender stereotypes that provide behavioral norms in a variety of situations, including sexual ones (Deaux & Lewis, 1984). Regardless of the reasons, it’s important to be honest with your partners about what you like and don’t like. Anal play should be enjoyable and pleasurable for both people, and if it’s not, then it may be time to take a step back.
Drunk sex is not something that anyone should be ashamed of, but it’s important to remember that it is still sex and requires consent.
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