There are a few things to keep in mind when preparing for anal. First, make sure you have the proper equipment. This includes condoms and lube. It’s also a good idea to do some foreplay to warm up.
Always use plenty of lube for anal play. Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication.
Warming Up
In order to have an enjoyable experience with anal, both partners should be well-prepared. This starts with both being clean before the anal play begins, washing thoroughly in the shower with mild soap and water or using unscented baby wipes for a quick and easy cleanup.
It is important that both partners use lube to warm up and explore the area around their anus. They should massage their anus, inner thighs and butt with their fingers to make it receptive to penetration. It is also a good idea to suck on a small spoon or fork as this stimulates the nerves in the anus and increases pleasure.
Both partners should discuss their expectations and desires with each other before engaging in anal play to ensure that they are on the same page. If one or both of the partners are new to anal, foreplay and oral sex can be great ways to introduce it. It is also a good idea to communicate that anal sex is not mandatory and that it can be stopped at any time.
Masturbation
It’s important for both partners to play with their anuses, especially before anal penetration. It helps lubricate the anus and stimulates the G-spot, which can result in orgasms. Foreplay is also a good way to connect with your partner and get into a relaxed and horny mood before trying out anal. Anal-specific toys such as plugs and beads can also increase pleasure by stimulating the nerve endings around the anus, so don’t be afraid to use them.
Once it’s time for anal, take things slow. Rushing can cause tears in the anus or even damage the wall shared with the rectum, and it can be super painful. If your partner is using a strap-on or dildo, consider using a lubricant that relaxes the anus for a more comfortable experience.
Make sure there’s a towel down on the bed before you start, which can help protect your sheets from lube, body fluids, and possibly fecal matter. Having quick clean-up items nearby is also a good idea, like a pack of tissue or gentle unscented wipes.
Condoms
The anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina, so lube is super important. It also reduces the risk of micro-tears and bleeding. Many people choose to use condoms during anal sex, especially in polyurethane condoms that are safe for latex (but not spermicide), but it’s a personal choice for any sexual activity. It’s a good idea to take PrEP beforehand, too.
A few notes on safety: It’s super important that you and your partner discuss and understand consent before trying anal sex, and to go slow to get a feel for the sensations. It’s also a good idea to make sure the top and bottom partners have clean hands before penetration. Bacterial infections in the anal canal are not fun for anyone.
Remember to use lots of lube during anal, and reapply frequently. It’s helpful to use a silicone-based lube for anal, since water-based ones tend to absorb faster. There are even lubes that are specifically designed for anal play. And remember that anal sex can also be fun with toys, including vibrators and butt plugs and toys with flared bases, as well as strap-ons and dildos.
Lube
One of the biggest worries people have about anal sex is that they’ll get poop all over their partner, but that fear is mostly unfounded. Poop is stored high up in the bowels (and far enough down that your penis can’t reach it), and the chance of fecal residue getting onto anything during anal play is slim, says Sher.
However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use plenty of lube before diving in to anal play. The anus isn’t self-lubricating like the vagina or mouth, so playing down there with fingers, sex toys, or a penis without lube can hurt and cause irritation or small tears that can make it easier for STIs to enter the body. You can find anal lube at drugstores, supermarkets, and sex shops. And for the sake of safety, always use condoms to avoid transferring vaginal bacteria to the anus and vice versa. Also, if you have hemorrhoids, anal sex should be avoided until your anus and rectum are healed. It can also increase pain and discomfort, especially if your partner pushes too hard or quickly down the anal canal.
Toys
If this is your first time venturing down the backdoor, be patient with yourself – it takes a bit of time to get those muscles relaxed. Start by lubing up your toy and pushing it in slowly until you feel resistance (this is probably the first sphincter). Then, pull it out and re-lubricate and try again, gradually pushing in a little further each time. You should be comfortable with a toy being in and out of your butthole for at least 10 minutes before moving up to the next size.
There are a variety of anal toys on the market to suit all needs, from simple butt plugs like the b-Vibe Snug Plug or mASSter’s SuperSoft to anal beads and dildos that come in multiple sizes with cock and ball ring attachments. Some even include a remote to take the pressure off you while inserting, and can be a fun way to train your butthole for sex. You also want to keep lube in mind, as you’ll need plenty. A water-based lube is best for anal training as it doesn’t break down latex, like Jo Premium Anal Lubricant.
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