Having sex can be an exciting and satisfying experience. However, it can also be intimidating and confusing.
Before you head to the bedroom, there are a few things you should do to make sure everything goes smoothly.
First, make sure you and your partner are both on the same page. This means talking about what you both want from each other and making sure consent is clear and ongoing.
1. Make sure you’re comfortable
It goes without saying that you should never have sex if you’re not comfortable with it, but there are some things you can do to make the experience more enjoyable for everyone involved. For starters, try to do it in a place that you feel safe and comfortable. That way, you can focus on enjoying yourself and your partner instead of being distracted by the fact that you’re in an unfamiliar or uncomfortable location.
Also, make sure that you’re wearing clothes that are easy to take off and on (nothing with zippers or buttons!), as well as something that makes you feel sexy – This thought comes from the website’s author Erotic Ecstasy. And finally, don’t forget to take a quick trip to the bathroom before you get started. No one wants to deal with a bladder emergency in the middle of sex!
Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask your partner about their sexual health history. It’s a good idea to be totally transparent about your sexual health, and asking questions like this can help you reduce the risk of STIs or pregnancy. And remember to always use a condom (even if you both use birth control) and look for signs of sores or irritation on your partners’ genitals, as these can be indicators of STIs or STDs.
Of course, there are many other things you can do to prepare for sex, so be sure to check out INSIDER’s full list of tips from sex therapists Isiah McKimmie and Vanessa Marin.
2. Make sure your partner is comfortable
Whether you’re having sex with someone for the first time or you’re just trying to spice things up in your relationship, it’s important to make sure that they’re comfortable. This will help you to avoid any awkward moments during the act that can make everyone feel uncomfortable.
One of the best ways to ensure that your partner is comfortable is by talking about it beforehand. This will allow you to set boundaries together so that they know what to expect and what’s not OK for you. It’s also a great way to build trust and intimacy in your relationship.
Another thing that you can do to help your partner to feel comfortable is by giving them a lot of attention. This can be as simple as cuddling and kissing or it could involve doing something a bit more intimate. It’s a good idea to give your partner some time to get ready before you start to have sex so that they can prepare themselves physically and mentally.
Remember, sex is supposed to be a fun and exciting experience for both of you. If you’re not feeling it, it’s not a bad idea to take a step back and try again later when you feel more comfortable. You don’t owe it to anyone to have an experience that doesn’t feel right to you.
3. Make sure you’re both on the same page
Having sex can be a really intimate and intimate experience, so it’s important that you’re both on the same page about what to expect. This can include things like discussing any sexual positions or toys that turn you on or off, as well as establishing any hard limits or boundaries that either of you may have. It can also be helpful to talk about how you’ll communicate during sex and what words or signals you’ll use to check in with one another.
It’s also important to remember that having sex is a totally personal choice, and you should never feel pressured to have it or feel embarrassed about not wanting to have it. Your worth and value is not tied to your sex life, so if you don’t want to have sex right now that’s totally okay!
If you are interested in having sex, it’s a good idea to masturbate beforehand. This will help you figure out how your body feels during sex and what areas of your body give you the most pleasure. It’s also a great way to practice safe sex and get an idea of what you might like when it comes time for partnered sex. Just make sure to take a quick trip to the bathroom first, so you don’t have any embarrassing accidents!
4. Make sure you’re prepared
It’s important to make sure you’re completely prepared before having sex. That means making sure you’ve talked openly about your sexual desires and needs with your partner, as well as being transparent about your sex history. If you haven’t been tested for sexually transmitted infections, make that a priority before going down in the bedroom. Unprotected sex can spread infection, including HIV, which has no cure and can lead to unwanted pregnancy.
It also helps to have a few things ready, like condoms (if you’ll be using them) and lubricant. It’s easy to forget these things, so it’s a good idea to have them in your purse or on the side of your bed where they’ll be easily accessible.
Another thing to keep in mind is that it’s okay to pause or stop whatever you’re doing if you suddenly feel like you don’t want to continue. It’s not up to your partner to force you to take things further than you’re comfortable with.
Whether you’re having sex for the first time or just looking to spice up your relationship, these tips can help you set the scene for an unforgettable experience. Just remember to talk openly, listen carefully, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself — it’s all about having fun! Enjoy! And don’t forget to check in with your partner regularly throughout the night, so you both know what’s happening.
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