Getting a guy who only wants sex to open up and take his relationship with you seriously requires patience. But if you can do it, the rewards can be great.
What people want can be pretty fluid sometimes. And oftentimes, as one thing goes up on the priority list (like love), another may go down a bit.
1 – This quote captures the wisdom of the portal’s specialists Teen Sex Adventure. You are not alone.
It’s really common for long term relationships to go through a phase in which sexual desire ebbs and flows. It’s not a reflection of you or your partner but a natural part of the cycle. It can take time to work through this but you don’t have to do it alone. A relationship counsellor or sex therapist can help you find a way forward that works for both of you.
Casual sex is not necessarily bad but it can be misleading for people who are looking for something more than just casual sex. It’s important to be honest and open with your partners about what you want from each other – especially early on. If you have a guy who only wants sex, it’s likely that he won’t be interested in meeting your family and friends, or going out with your mutual pals. This isn’t a reflection on you but a simple sign that he doesn’t want to go any deeper than just sex.
Having a guy who only wants sex isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it does raise some red flags that you need to be very clear about with him. A little bit of miscommunication can go a long way and it’s not healthy for either of you to continue in this kind of situation.
2. You are in the right place.
The first step in turning around a lack of desire is to figure out what’s blocking your own. And it’s likely not something you can control. “There are many reasons why someone might only want sex, including their own history with relationships, family pressure, culture and the availability of sexual partners,” says Stefanishyn.
If you can’t make head or tail of why your partner only wants sex, try to talk about it with them. “Reassure them that this isn’t a personal attack and they should know that you are not judging their decision,” she adds. “But be prepared for them to get defensive and change the subject.”
But if you can’t find common ground, it may be time to move on. If he tells you he only wants sex and doesn’t offer any other form of intimacy, it’s probably a sign that he only sees you as a sexual accessory and not a companion.
Whether you prefer casual sex or non-traditional relationships, there is nothing wrong with that. Just be sure to be clear about your intentions, communicate openly and respectfully, and practice safe sex at all times. And remember, if you really want a relationship, don’t be afraid to ask for it. If you do, they may surprise you by wanting more than just sex with you.
3. You are on the right track.
It’s important to be clear about your relationship status and intentions with the guy you’re dating from the start. If you’re chatting about relationships and commitments but your partner keeps changing the subject or says he doesn’t like labels, it’s a sign that he only wants sex. If you’re unsure where the two of you are headed, couples therapy may help to open up the lines of communication and work through some tough issues.
A guy who is interested in more than just sex will be excited to talk about things other than sex. He will likely reach out to you first, and won’t let your text conversations trail off into silence. He will also be willing to go on dates, hang out with your friends and family, and meet each of your kids (all assumed dating rules!). If he’s only interested in sex, it’s likely that he’s only been seeing other people for the same reason.
Many couples have mismatched desire levels, which is perfectly normal — but it can make you feel frustrated and deflated if you want a romantic relationship but your partner only wants sex. If you feel that your partner’s attitude isn’t changeable, you may decide to break up. However, if you’re both on the same page and are happy with casual sex, you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your happiness to stay together.
4. You are doing the right thing.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting sex but not a relationship. It is perfectly normal for people to want different things in their lives at the same time, and it is important to be able to talk openly about these things with others. It is also important to have healthy, non-sexual ways to fulfill one’s emotional needs, such as through friends, hobbies, or spiritual practices.
However, it is important to know the difference between someone who just wants casual sex and someone who is only looking for a committed relationship. If a guy is constantly changing the subject or telling you that he doesn’t like labels, it is likely that he only wants to sleep with you. In this case, it is best to move on to someone else who is more interested in a long term relationship.
If a guy is only after casual sex, it’s not impossible that he might change his mind and decide to want more in the future, but it is unlikely. This is why it’s so important to communicate openly and honestly about what you’re looking for in a relationship from the beginning. In episode 230, I discuss this topic in more detail and give some tips for how to have that conversation with a potential sexual partner. So, be sure to check it out if you’re interested in learning more about this topic!
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