When fingering is done right, it can elicit immense pleasure. It’s a great foreplay technique that can turn on female partners and give them multiple orgasms.
But you have to be smart about it. You need to warm her up and don’t jump in too quickly. You also need to keep lube handy.
Warm her up
If you want to finger her right, start with a warm vagina. Foreplay like licking, kissing, making out and dry humping can make her vagina softer and more receptive to fingering.
Once she’s warm, apply some lubricant to your fingers and slowly insert them into her vagina. Don’t push too hard, you don’t want to shock her muscle tissues and nerve endings. Instead, gently tease the area with your fingertips and work your way towards her clitoris. It’s important to pay attention to her reaction to the sensation of your touch as this can give you clues as to when it’s time to go deeper.
The clitoris is the little knob that sticks up above her vaginal opening. It’s not as pronounced as a penis, but it has lots of nerve endings and can lead to orgasms on its own. If you tease it enough she may even start moaning.
Remember that you can also use your fingers to play with the vulva’s thigh areas, her mons pubis and her labia majora. All of these are sensitive and can lead to orgasms as well. If you’re not sure what to do, just ask her and listen for her answers as to what feels good to her. It’s also a good idea to wear gloves during fingering to prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted infections such as gonorrhea or chlamydia.
Don’t rush in
Unlike the pornographic models that adorn many erotic toys, no woman’s vulva looks exactly like another’s. This is one of the reasons that clear communication is vital when fingering.
The hymen, which sits at the entrance to her vagina, may be tender or hardened at different times during her menstrual cycle. If this is the case, it’s important to be gentle with the area as rushing could lead to pain and bleeding.
Once she’s turned on and lubricated, begin by gently sliding your finger in the gap between her labia minora and majora – but don’t go inside. This is the vestibule of her vagina, and it’s a sensitive spot that can feel amazing to touch. Try stroking it with your thumb and index finger, increasing your speed to tease her.
You should also focus on her clitoris (which is a tough spot to find), but don’t poke directly into it. Instead, rub it with your fingers and play around with the textured surface – it can be extremely satisfying.
It’s very unlikely that consensual fingering will cause significant trauma, but sexual assault and other non-consensual activity can cause serious injuries. If you are bleeding after fingering or any other type of sexual activity, visit a doctor as soon as possible. This can help prevent serious complications, including cervical cancer.
Don’t forget the clitoris
A woman’s clitoris is an amazing thing, but it can be tricky to get to without the right fingering techniques. First, make sure she’s turned on and lubed up (she may secrete some herself) – this is the best time to tease her. A gentle, gliding motion up and down the slit of her vulva will wake her up and make it feel good. This is the best way to make sure her clitoris is ready for penetration – and it’s not as painful as pushing into an empty vagina.
Once she’s ready for it, you can slide your finger in about halfway to the first knuckle – this will give her a lot of pleasure as you slowly move in and out. Try to touch it with your index or middle finger, but ask her if this feels right – some women prefer a different hand or only two fingers for clitoral stimulation.
While a woman’s inner thighs and labia are less sensitive, light pressure should be avoided for now. Some women also don’t like to be fingered in a circle, while others prefer the ‘come here’ motion towards their G-spot (the underside of their clitoris – which actually has legs). Use a variety of fingering styles and methods to find out what works best for her. Remember to always apply lube and keep the hands soft and gentle – slapping around a dry or numb vagina can be very unpleasant.
Don’t forget the anus
When fingering is done right, it can be incredibly satisfying for both partners. It’s important to remember, however, that it should never be done in isolation. It should be part of a larger sexual experience, and the primary focus should be on having a good time and giving each other pleasure. This guide is a great starting point, but it’s up to the top and bottom to communicate throughout the entire process.
To avoid anal tearing, it’s best to start off slow and with one finger. Make sure it’s lubricated, and gently explore the inside of her vagina by tracing the various walls. It may help to lean against a wall or sit on a chair, with legs wide apart and fingers spread. Gently feel for any bumps or lumps that could be sores or unusual growths. Once a person is more familiar with this area, they can move to a squatting position and gently insert their finger into the vulva.
Once her clitoris is turned on and well rubbed, she’ll likely be ready for some penetration. Again, go slow and with one finger at a time, but slowly increase speed to tease her. Some women prefer just a single finger, while others enjoy two or more as they approach orgasm. It’s always best to ask a woman what they want, so don’t be afraid to talk about this with her.
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