An intimate massage can help couples reignite their spark or explore new boundaries of sexual arousal. It can also be a powerful way to ease fears and anxieties surrounding intimacy.
Begin with the back and experiment with different strokes and pressure. Slowly move on to other areas of the body, including erogenous zones. Be sure to communicate and listen for feedback.
Set the Scene
A sensual massage is a full sensory experience. You can play with temperature by adding a heating pad or hot water bottle, you can introduce aromatherapy with scented candles and use music to add mood. You can play with texture by draping warm towels over your lover’s naked body. You can also incorporate ethical sex toys and encourage feedback from your partner in the form of grunts or moans.
Keep in mind that the goal of erotic massage is not orgasm or sex. Instead, a sensual massage should enhance your partner’s natural eroticism with arousal and touch. The arousal should build slowly to an intense point, which is where you start massaging the erogenous zones. You can even massage the inner thighs and gently pull up or down on them to stimulate the vulva.
You should communicate with your partner to see if there is a particular area that feels arousing, and then linger in those areas. If your partner orgasms, let them cool down and help them calm their sexual energy before moving to a new spot. The entire process can take from 30 minutes to an hour.
Create a Relaxing Atmosphere
The most important factor in getting the most out of an erotic massage is creating a relaxing environment. This starts with having a comfortable space to lie down in and can include dim lighting, soft music, and aromatherapy to set the mood.
It’s also helpful to communicate with your masseuse to let them know what you’re looking for in terms of sensual touch and what techniques are most pleasurable. Whether you want to get more intense or are just interested in foreplay, this information will help them plan the best way to deliver the experience that you’re after.
A great way to get started is by massaging the most obvious erogenous zones, such as the clitoris and penis. However, it’s also a good idea to explore other areas like the wrists, the arch of the foot, the palms and fingers, and the back of the ears to see what feels most exciting to your lover. Be sure to switch things up and use body parts other than your hands, such as your lips, tongue, and teeth to spice up the experience.
Be Prepared to Be Undressed
It’s normal to feel nervous about an erotic massage, especially for your first one. It’s a whole new level of intimacy, so it’s best to make sure you’re comfortable.
Start by making the room cozy, turning on soft music, and putting on some sexy lubricant. It’s also important to communicate with your partner, so they know what you want from the session.
Once you’re ready, invite your partner to undress (or stay fully clothed). Keep everything close at hand-nothing breaks the mood like having to get up and fetch supplies!
Begin the massage by rubbing their hands and arms. Slowly work your way towards more sensitive areas of the body. It’s helpful to graze these erogenous zones with your fingers, which creates a feeling of trust and arousal. If you want to, you can even try a light grazing over the pubic bone/penis and vulva/testicles (or go further if you want to tease your partner). You can also use a little erotic massage as foreplay and build up to sex in the bedroom. Just be careful not to cross any lines.
Be Open-Minded
As with any massage, it’s important to be open-minded and to set clear boundaries. This is especially true for erotic massages, which can be a lot more intimate than regular massages.
For example, a common practice is to use sex toys during the massage or even to engage in sexual activities with the client. This can be uncomfortable or overwhelming for people who aren’t comfortable with that level of intimacy. It’s important to discuss the expectations for your erotic massage with your therapist before you book one so that you’re both on the same page.
Many people are hesitant to communicate their preferences or needs during their massage, afraid that they will come across as rude. However, providing feedback can be very beneficial for the masseuse and it will help them tailor their massage to your specific needs. This is also helpful in preventing discomfort and ensuring that you’re getting the most out of your experience.
Be Prepared to Be Touched
An erotic massage can be very intimate and sexual. Your partner will be touching your most sensitive areas, including the vagina and clitoris. It is important to be prepared for this and understand the risks involved before requesting an erotic massage.
You can help prepare yourself for an erotic massage by showering before the session. This will relax you and may help reduce body odours. It is also important to communicate with your masseuse during the massage, letting them know how you are feeling and what areas of the body you would like to focus on.
Having a full understanding of the risks and benefits of an erotic massage can help you decide if it is right for you. It is important to be comfortable with being touched in this way and have a clear understanding of your boundaries and consent with your partner. Taking the time to set the scene, dim the lights, light candles and play relaxing music can help create the perfect environment for your erotic massage. Using oil to massage your partner can also increase the sensuality of the experience, as it eliminates the friction caused by dry hands.
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