Many people have sexual fantasies that don’t match up with their existing sex life. Richmond says her office is filled with clients who dream of sexual acts involving genders they don’t engage with in real life.
Sex dreams can be a great source of sexual arousal and inspire fantasy play you might want to act out in the real world, she explains. But how do you increase the likelihood of steamy sex dreams?
Think About Your Sexual Desires
Thinking about sex is a normal part of growing up, especially during puberty when many people experience new physical sensations. As adults, we may have sexual fantasies that are different from society’s expectations and norms. It’s important to stop judging these thoughts and desires and consider what they’re trying to tell us about our sexual needs.
One way to explore your sexual desires is to keep an erotic journal – This section was prepared by the website https://handytelsexnummer.com. This will help you remember your dreams, and it can be a way to practice self-care and acceptance. It’s also a great way to keep your partner in the loop, and you can use it as a tool for communication.
Another way to keep your sexy dreams alive is to talk about them. This doesn’t have to be a serious discussion, and it can even be fun! Try brainstorming together with your partner a list of sexual acts and activities that turn you on. Then, put a green dot next to the ones you’d like to try, yellow for “maybe” or if you need to think about it more, and red for a hard no.
You can also make yourself feel extra sexy before you go to sleep by taking a hot bath, wearing sexy pajamas or lingerie, and changing the sheets to something softer and more sensual. You can even play sexy music or listen to erotic audio stories that will give you the right energy for your dreaming.
Practice Orgasmic Meditation
If you’re looking for a mindful way to boost your pleasure in the bedroom, orgasmic meditation may be a great option. The practice pairs guided meditation with someone stimulating your body, focusing on your clitoris. But don’t let the word “orgasmic” fool you, the intention of OM is not to serve as foreplay or get the participants to orgasm. “The purpose is to shift attention from the mind to the body, and to experience pleasure in the present moment,” says Ayer.
Invented by Nicole Daedone in the US about ten years ago, a session lasts exactly 15 minutes and involves one person (typically a girl) lying down undressed from the waist down as she lets her partner stroke her clitoral region. Some have likened it to a kind of high-end sex therapy, while others think of it as spiritual.
Regardless of what you call it, there are many benefits of the technique. It increases resilience, increases capacity for joy and connects people in mystical states that include oneness and flow. It also improves self-awareness, promotes deep intimacy in relationships, and encourages women to experience more affectionate orgasms. It also gives men a chance to explore their female pleasure, and enables them to understand and speak the feeling-based language of women.
Try Sex-Inspired Visualizations
It may seem counterintuitive, but visualization can help you have more erotic dreams. “Just as you might practice your breathing to relax and de-stress before bed, so too can you rehearse the sexual experiences you wish to have,” says Dr. Winter. Just keep in mind that it won’t happen overnight. “Much like lucid dreaming, it takes time and dedication to rehearse your desires before they come true,” he says.
Sex-inspired visualizations, which focus on sensuality, intimacy and pleasure, can help you explore your sexual fantasies in a safe and healthy way. The arousal you experience in these types of dreams may also translate into real-life orgasms and sexual pleasure, explains Wells.
If you don’t want to go down the lucid dreaming route, just keeping a journal by your bedside and writing about your dreams as soon as you wake up is helpful for remembering them and bringing more sexual content into your life. It’s not a foolproof solution, but it’s worth trying.
As for decoding the meaning of your dreams, a sexy dream doesn’t necessarily indicate a shift in your sexual orientation, says Janet Brito, a sex and relationship therapist and licensed psychologist. Instead, it’s likely reflecting an emotional need that you may be trying to fulfill in your waking life. The key is to approach it with curiosity, not judgment or shame.
Rehearse Your Sex Dreams
Keeping a dream journal is an easy and effective way to remember your dreams and analyze them. There are plenty of aesthetically stunning dream journals available, but any notebook will work just fine. If you’re having trouble recalling your dreams, practicing mindfulness exercises and reducing stress could help. Talking to a therapist is another great option. BetterHelp offers convenient and affordable online therapy starting at $60 per week.
If you find that you’re having sexy dreams on a regular basis, it can be helpful to have a conversation with someone about them. It’s important to remember that sex dreams are often about a desired quality in the person you’re dreaming about and not necessarily about physical intimacy. If you’re having sexy dreams about an ex-lover, for example, it can mean that you’re seeking a deeper connection and perhaps wanting to adopt some of their characteristics or behaviors in your own life.
If you want to make your dreams sexier, practice by playing them out while you’re awake, suggests Dr Winter. It’s a lot easier than you might think – just imagine yourself meeting the person of your dreams in a public place, and then imagining yourself in an intimate situation with them. It might help to set the scene as well, with a sensual setting and mood lighting, sexy music, and maybe even a vibrator.
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